Why I Circle
Who does she think she is? Has this thought ever crossed your mind? Or maybe even paralyzed you from trying something new, or taking steps towards the life you’ve always wanted, for me it has. I have held my tongue in conversations, avoided wearing certain clothes, and refused to put myself out there when I came to pursuing my dreams.
Before circling I hie my talents, conforming to societies expectations and essentially hiding who I truly am. I had been working on launching my Life Coaching business for about six months, always with the excuse that I wanted the perfect name for my company before I put myself out there. But the reality was that I wasn’t living with intention. Intention is such a powerful tool when creating the life you want. Circling with other women helped me to see where I was playing small, where my “business strategy” was just an excuse that held me back.
Have you ever heard the phrase “you can’t go it alone”? I believe this to be true. While I may be doing all the work to create and grow my business the women in circle support me in so many ways. Part of the work we do when circling is calling out our shadow selves, the parts of us whether good are bad that we keep hidden from the world. We dig deep into wounds that we didn’t even know we still playing out in our lives. Affecting out relationships, our decision making, and our way of being.
During one of my weekly circles I attend I got the opportunity to explore a wound that I had been holding onto from the age of about six. I am the youngest of my mother’s fours daughters and I remember always looking up to my older sisters, always wanting to be a part of whatever they had going on. However, no one really ever wants their baby sister tagging along, so for me that was the way is was, desperately wanting to be included but always seemed to be left behind. So when I had the opportunity to turn the tables on one of my sisters, or so I thought, I tried to shun her from participating in the games my friends and I were playing when they were round to visit. Well things didn’t go as planned, I didn’t take into account that I was also at the mercy of my friend’s desires and they welcomed the opportunity to play with me older “much cooler” sister. These experiences created a belief in me that I wasn’t wanted and that something “better” will come along and I would inevitable be left behind yet again.
This is how it was, this scenario played out for me over and over and over again throughout my life. As I sat on the call with my fellow sisters ugly crying slowly putting the pieces together as my AHA moment was coming, I was creating this reality. I was projecting this energy of not good enough, of there is something better out there. This was a game changer for me, knowing that I have the power to create my own reality means I can make it whatever I want so why not make it something amazing. The belief I had was created with all the knowledge and wisdom of a six-year-old girl and she was doing her best to survive, but I’m not six and I don’t want to just survive I want to live.
For me, circling is my medicine. It’s a part of my self-care routine, a space where I can get vulnerable, exploring my, limiting beliefs, my spirituality, and discovering pieces of myself that I had forgotten about. Circling can be all these things to you too, you just need to accept the invitation and be willing to lean in and get vulnerable, remembering that we are here to support you no matter what comes up.